Rants

Everything there is, it’s just a matter of one year now. This too shall pass on they say.

But, what if I don’t want this to pass on, what if I want to cling on to this moment right here, so bad that my fingers bleed. What if I don’t want to know what I’m going to know in a year.

Unawareness is a bliss. I want to be like this always, unaware, a dumbfuck. More than anything, a retard.

I am aware of the fact that time stops for no one. Used to write it in big bolds in my values class with a perfect border, “TIME AND TIDE WAITS FOR NONE.”I’m not special either. I’m just not ready to give up on this moment without making a memory with someone. A happy memory, a sad one, angry, disgusted, delighted, depressed, broken anything. All I need is something to remember this moment for. But what if people around me are not ready for that. What if they don’t want to make memories, not with me at least. Once I’m gone, I know they’ll understand, but I don’t want those stupid late realizations. What are they worth really now?

That’s why, I don’t want to go, don’t want to open my fingers and let this moment go. Not today, not ever.

There maybe something amazing waiting ahead of this moment, but I’m not ready for it yet. I know I’m going to love that amazing thing and I’ll be happy that I let go of this right here, but I don’t want to. It won’t be fair to this moment right here.